Handstands and cartwheels
I am no Acrobat. I can't do cartwheels. I can't do handstands. Doing a simple roly-poly, head-over-heels action can cause great pain and anguish for me and much mirth for any onlooker. Safe to say that at school PE was my least favourite subject and probably
I was not hurt in the making of this AI image!
because the teacher made us do, in my view, scary maneuvers. There was certainly no humanly way possible that I was ever going to climb those ropes, somersault off a trampoline or balance on a beam. Nope. It was. Not. Ever. Going. To. Happen. I am just not built to be an athlete and I am not built to be an acrobat. I knew my limits
but my PE teacher didn’t. And there I was - not climbing robes, cartwheeling into a heap and trampolining saw me walk around the bouncy, menacing object. Disaster and tears. Every PE lesson became a tightrope walk - me trying to cope and me getting angry because I couldn’t. I couldn’t find the right balance between what I could and couldn’t do.
And that’s what so many of us do - we walk a tightrope between work and ‘me’, family, leisure or enjoyment time. We want to achieve but at what cost? Do we walk the figurative tightrope and fear that we must work harder and therefore we eat into our leisure? Or do we decide to swing off the tightrope, jump down, land elegantly and live life as it should be lived? I think I would rather do clumsy cartwheels because I'm happy than have beads of sweat running between my shoulder blades as I struggle to ‘live’.
The work-life balance concept seems to be more prevalent in the last 20 - 30 years as opposed to 50 years ago. Thinking back to childhood holidays, we went away for two weeks and my dad who held a senior management position would do a handover to a fellow manager so that business would keep flowing. No laptop. No mobile phone. No tablet. Just us, the family. Two weeks later on my dad’s return to work, the building was still standing and business was functioning. And more importantly my dad was well rested. There were times when he had to work long hours, but on the whole he was home for dinner and enjoyed the evenings with us.
So what has changed?
The demands of the boss, fear of not performing, worry that we won’t get that promotion but hard work, determination and diligence should be what we are judged on, not how quickly we answer an email or the phone.
So here’s a rather novel idea: switch off the emails; forget the ‘urgent’ WhatsApp messages and go on holiday. And forget the boss!
All of us have said we have worked longer hours because of projects that need finishing or something is better finished before going home. By and large, that's fine as long as it’s not all the time. Having worked in the education sector for over 30 years, I know what long hours look like and the effects it has on well-being, mental health and general family life and that’s why I decided to take back more of the happiness and joy that I was destined for. And I did. Relief!
I am in the blessed position that I work for myself (oh, and the dogs who demand treats). I set my work days, hours, where and who I want to work with, within reason. I have a busy diary but I balance it. Late evenings result in later morning starts or a good break during the day i.e., usually a longer lunch time. Away from the laptop and just enjoying some down time with my husband and it has made a difference. My productivity and enthusiasm is raised so that I can be a better coach and trainer. I don't take on more work unless I have space in the diary and I have learned to kindly say ‘no’. I want to do everything properly - no terrible acrobatics or neck-breaking cartwheels - so I choose that which I know is better for me and my clients.
So when you see me skipping down the road, it will be with joy and laughter because I have made the right choices about what is important to me and those around me.I still work hard but I also rest well.
If you want some time with me to work on your strategy and want to have more time to be ‘you’, please email me margarithe@mayescoachingandtraining.co.uk or click the link below.
Next time: Lessons from an anxious Old English Sheepdog rescue.
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